Intentionally Cleaning Out My \”Shoulds\”

It’s that time again when we join to share our monthly reports with the #OneWordCommunity over at Lisa Notes. We share how we discover, learn and grow with our Word Of The Year.

So I have to tell you, I had no idea what I would write about this month— UNTIL. I read Lauren Sparks’ update on her One Word 2022 REST. Her article titled What Should We Do With “Should” hit me like a ton of bricks. Please click on the link to read her article if you haven’t already. Maybe it will hit you like a ton of bricks too. 

In her article, she says— “Something that I used to enjoy has morphed into a chore to check off my list.” It brought me to a stark realization that that’s Me too! I paused to reflect on many of the things she mentioned and so much more. Because her words touched me, they prompted me that I “Intentionally” need to assess and clean out my “shoulds.” Thank you, Lauren, for inspiring me to intentionally clean out my “shoulds.”

So what is it about “shoulds”?

Your Dictionary describes “Should” in this way— Should signifies something you ought to do or something that is a good idea or that something that may happen. Used to express obligation, duty, propriety, or desirability. Used to express obligation or duty.

Some of my “shoulds” include

— I “should” intentionally walk every day.

— I “should” do the laundry.

— I “should” fold the clothes.

— I “should” make that phone call.

— I “should” write that review.

— I “shouldn’t” get upset.

— So and so “should” know better than that.

— They “shouldn’t” drive like that.

— I “should” put gas in my car.

— I “should” be able to balance everything.

Then I got to thinking. Let’s intentionally think about it. How many “should” and, for that matter, let’s throw in “musts” statements do we make in daily life? How many would you have at the end of the day if you kept count and did a tally, do you think? 5, 10, 15? 20? or more? 

Some things we can do to reduce our “shoulds” intentionally include

— Maybe experiment and keep a log of “should” statements.

— Notice how you feel when you think of a “should,” i.e., physically, mentally, and emotionally.

— Forgive yourself and clean the slate.

— Be creative in finding replacements and have fun doing it.

— Show yourself self-compassion.

— Accepting the “should” emotion.

— Stop judging your emotions, thinking you “should” or “shouldn’t” do something or feel a certain way.

— Be self-aware.

— Consider why things didn’t unfold as you planned.

— Can you gain any insights from assessing your “shoulds”?

As I started intentionally thinking about it, I realized that many “shoulds” that come to mind make me think I’m self-defeating. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be thwarting and intentionally assessing and cleaning out my “shoulds.” 

What about you?

Do you have any “shoulds” that you need to clean out?

Do you have any self-defeating “shoulds” that hold you back?

Linking up this week with # One Word Community Inspire Me Monday  the other Inspire Me Monday  Remember Me Monday  Monday Musings  InstaEncouragements  Tell His Story Let’s Have Coffee  #AnythingGoesLinky  Hearth & Soul  Thankful Thursday  Grace & Truth  Your The Star Blog Hop  Sweet Tea & Friends